Confessions: Recent thoughts from a fangirling adult

by | Oct 21, 2016 | Backstreet Boys, Confessions, Feelings, Opinion, Thoughts | 0 comments

Like I’ve continuously said, things have been getting back to normal. I plan on recording parts for my and Ezra May’s next BSB video analysis today. We haven’t updated it in almost a year but this has been a crazy year. Like, really. 

Everything kind of changed for me.


I decided to close Boys on the Block because I just didn’t have the time to devote to it like it should be. Not like I did before and I guess in a way, it was a good thing I did it. I didn’t know what was going to happen this summer and it would have just gone without being updated and if anybody knows me, they know I hate a website that’s not updated more than I dislike Paris Hilton.

But, it’s hard running a website… especially alone when you work full time and have real adult responsibilities. I give credit to all those who still do it. The website succeeded in what I wanted to accomplish and because of that other websites have come along and keeping the pride alive and that’s amazing. I still get to do my boy band writing between this more personal site here and over at, which I have never been so honored to be a part of something in my life.

But running a website like BOTB alone for the most part was hard. Constantly, every day, thinking of new post ideas or working on something or trying to keep up on the latest news and as a journalists and news hound, I try to do that anyway, but when you’re having to do it for professional reasons and as a hobby, it gets a little tiring. I started the site to be like a Buzzfeed type site for boy band fans. It just took on a life of it’s on. I became obsessed with it. I let it control my life for a while. I always had to be on top of things.

The reason I started this site was because I still wanted a place to blog, but I missed talking about all type of fangirling things since I was no longer at my old job where I had a weekly column in the newspaper discussing things. And honestly, I think this fits me better at this point in my life. I might not be getting 250,000 hits a day like I was with Boys on the Block, but I’m okay with that right now.


Since last Spring, I have slowly been working on converting VHS’ tapes to DVD and ripping them to put online. I’m about 70 percent through the process. I lost a lot of time this summer and between that and my library of things I’ve downloaded over the years, I’m working on uploading more and organizing them. I also want to try and upload things so people can download their own libraries right onto their computer and keep for safety, so I’m working on that. If you know of a good upload site to do so, let me know.

Right now I’ve started a page on here and separated videos by era (mostly by albums when it comes to BSB). There are also links to other artists and different categories like “full concerts.” You can see that by clicking here.


I’m thankful for all those that still visit the site to read my rambling or watch videos or whatever it is that you enjoy that I do. Right now, I need that. I’m slowly falling back into my depression and if it weren’t for Backstreet Boys and Nick Carter and my friends, I don’t know what I would do. After this summer, I might actually break down and cry when I see Nick this coming Friday. I’m so thankful that Barb, that many of you know as @ClanCarter or Twitter, is coming all the way from Italy and Mara and Jen are coming from Florida and all of my Georgia girls will be getting together. Sure, we’re all coming for Nick and Walker Stalker, but it’s a girls weekend and a lot of us need that right now, especially me.

On that note, I’ll have a big weekly fangirling column this weekend. There wasn’t much fangirling this past week because I worked six days and was dead on the 7th day. Dead. 7th. Dead 7.

Sorry, I’m ok.

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