Thoughts: Does it ever get better?

by | Nov 6, 2016 | Backstreet Boys, Feelings, Personal, Thoughts

20161107_004306000_iosI used to be depressed a lot. So much so, I contemplated a lot of bad things.  I’m not happy… in fact, I’m always sad and depressed. 

I’ve suffered from depression for the past twenty years. It all started in 1996 when my Granny died and just so many things that I built up and held back and hide and it made things worse.

And I’ve found happiness in those twenty years, but it seems like it’s never for very long.

I have so much that I want to do with my life and I just never can do it. I feel like this funk I have, this depression, this anxiety, it always holds me back.  Sometimes I feel like I’ve been given the short end of the stick since I was born by everything that’s happened.

I was doing good until this summer and it’s all coming back and I can’t stop it.

I used to write to make myself happy, to get out of my head. Those days are all over

I just want to be happy again.

Sorry if this post is depression and not my normal peppy self, fangirling about something. I just… yeah. Not me right now. I need a change.

2 Comments

  1. Lorelie D

    I also have s mental illness as categorized by my neurologist doctor but after every fall, do your best to keep your head up. Easier said than done, I know, been battling it out with the same anniversary as the boys. But you know what, my motto every time I had to get up is whew! I survived! Made it through one more bout of serious major major episodes because you know what? It’s all worth it in the end. You pick up the pieces and are able to stand on your feet once more. I am a fellow writer myself so I know how it can get so dark at times. I tried to diverge myself with stuff that I write because it’s my passion, my love for words but you gotta find the inner peace within you to find that you are loved. Me? Had it since my Uncle went to heaven because he anchored our family in faith and thought I was a goner, especially after my eldest brother bid us goodbye. Getting tears eyed as I speak but just keep your chin up. Maybe the grieving process would not get any better but the healing process is there and pour out your heart in your deep faith. At times, when you ask God why? Don’t despair because after all the war games we are dealt with in life of vicious hate and unjustifiable crimes of violence, in the eyes of the Lord, love is still fair and always prevails. Hope this helps cheer you up a bit, even just a wee bit, I mean I’m not BSB but I’m here for you as a co-fan and BSB gal for life :o) ???????????????????????????????????

    Reply
    • Karah-Leigh

      <3<3<3 Thanks Lorelie 🙂 I feel the same.

      Reply

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