We have officially reached the end of the Backstreet Boys’ second summer run of Into the Millennium at Sphere in Las Vegas.
The guys will take the show to Germany soon, but they will not be back at Sphere until December.
Before December gets here, I think we need to talk about something.
And no, I’m not trying to start fandom drama or tell anyone how to fangirl. If you know me, you know I am probably the last person who should be telling anyone to calm down over the Backstreet Boys. I’m also not trying to police the fandom, because damn I hate when people do that.
What I’m going to say comes from a place of concern.
I have seen several videos coming out of Vegas this summer, especially during the last two weekends, and some of them have honestly concerned me.
People running.
People pushing.
People trying to get around fans who have been waiting in line ahead of them.
Hair pulled.
People getting shoved toward walls.
At some point, we have to remember one very important thing.
We are grown women.
This isn’t 1999 anymore.
We aren’t 14 years old trying to get as close as possible because we are convinced Nick Carter might see us in the crowd, fall instantly in love and ask us to marry him.
Nick isn’t going to marry you.
Brian isn’t leaving Leighanne for you.
AJ isn’t going to spot you running toward Sphere and think, “That’s the one.”
Kevin and Howie aren’t waiting inside to see who wins the 100 yard dash from the gate.
I promise.
You can walk.
And I say all of this as someone who LOVES being close. Give me pit. Give me barricade. Let me be right in the middle of everything.
I get it.
But there has to be a point where we realize getting a better spot is not worth someone getting hurt.
If Someone Is in Front of You, They Are in Front of You
This is where basic concert line etiquette comes into play.
If someone arrived before you and is standing ahead of you, that is their spot.
Maybe they have a few friends joining them. Maybe someone stepped away to use the bathroom. Maybe someone went to grab food after standing outside for hours.
Communicate.
Most people are pretty reasonable when everyone knows what is happening.
What shouldn't happen is the gate opening and suddenly everyone deciding the original line no longer exists.
The gate opening does not mean GO.
It doesn't mean run around everyone who has been waiting ahead of you.
It doesn't mean push through people.
It definitely doesn't mean shove someone out of the way so you can reach the doors 30 seconds before they do.
If the line starts moving, move with it.
If there is a gap in front of someone, that doesn't automatically mean they have surrendered their spot and you should sprint through it.
And please, please stop pushing.
We are too old for this.
Our knees are too old for this.
Some of our backs are definitely too old for this.
Nick Carter is not waiting for you, specifically, inside to become his wife.
My Biggest Concern Is Someone Getting Hurt
This is really why I’m writing this.
We joke about fangirl behavior all the time. I have built an entire platform around being an adult fangirl. I have traveled for shows, spent ridiculous amounts of money, waited in lines and done plenty of things that would probably make a normal person question my decision making.
I am not judging anyone for wanting barricade.
Pot, meet kettle.
I will happily admit it.
But there is nothing funny about someone getting shoved into a wall, knocked down or injured because another fan wanted to move a few people closer to the front.
A concert isn't worth hurting someone.
A pit spot isn't worth hurting someone.
Barricade isn't worth hurting someone.
And once pushing and shoving starts, things can escalate quickly.
Security can get involved. Police can get involved. Someone can get removed from the venue. Someone could potentially get banned.
Trust me when I say Sphere knows who is inside that building.
On the very first night of the residency, they managed to track me down in the pit using facial recognition technology because they saw me say on Instagram that I planned to livestream the first song. They found me in a building with almost 20,000 people just to tell me not to livestream.
So yes, they can find you.
Do you really want to risk your night, or future shows, because you wanted to move a few feet closer?
We Are All There for the Same Five Guys
The Backstreet Boys fandom has always had a competitive side.
We know it.
Who has been to the most shows? Who has the best seat? Who got noticed? Who had the best VIP interaction? Who has met them the most? Who has been a fan the longest?
That mentality has been around forever.
But none of those things determine how much someone loves the Backstreet Boys.
You don't become a bigger fan because you pushed past six people, shoved someone into a wall and tripped someone on your way to getting closer to Nick.
Being at barricade doesn't make you more important than the fan sitting in the 400s.
Some of us have been here since the '90s.
Some fans left after Black & Blue and came back because of Sphere.
Some became fans during DNA.
Some younger fans grew up listening to the Backstreet Boys because their mom played them in the car.
And I think that is pretty freaking cool.
Sphere has brought so many people back into this fandom. It has introduced the guys to people who weren't around for the original Millennium era. It has given longtime fans another chance to experience an album and an era that meant so much to us.
I would hate for someone's memory of that experience to be getting shoved into a wall because another fan wanted their spot.
There is room for everybody.
Sphere Has Some Responsibility Here, Too
This isn't completely on the fans.
Sphere needs to look at what has been happening before the December shows.
I was there during the first weekend of the residency, and the lineup situation was rough.
It was confusing and unorganized. People didn't know where they were supposed to go or which line they belonged in.
Thankfully, a few higher ups eventually came outside, figured out what was happening and got everyone situated.
When I came back in December, things were much smoother. I even saw some of those same Sphere employees outside.
But the footage I have seen from the past two weekends?
Insane.
If opening the gate creates a situation where people start running and pushing toward the front doors, Sphere needs employees along that route.
Maybe fans need to be released toward the entrance in smaller groups.
Maybe there need to be additional barriers.
Maybe there needs to be a better way of maintaining the original line once the gate opens.
Something needs to change.
Staff can yell “no running” all they want, but if people run anyway and nothing happens, yelling isn't solving the problem.
It shouldn't become a free for all where everyone suddenly thinks they are competing on The Amazing Race: Backstreet Boys Edition.
Fans are still on Sphere property.
If someone falls, gets pushed into something or gets seriously hurt because hundreds of people are rushing toward an entrance, that can become a much bigger issue very quickly.
An issue that starts with an L and ends with a T.
Sphere has hosted enough Backstreet Boys shows now to know what happens when you put hundreds of determined fangirls in one place and tell them the doors are open.
We need a better system in December.
We Can Be Crazy Fangirls Without Being Jerks
That's really where I land with all of this.
I don't want us to stop fangirling.
Please, be ridiculous.
Scream when Nick does something hot.
Cry during “Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely.”
Wear the outfit.
Make the friendship bracelets. (Sorry I almost started singing Taylor Swift)
Travel across the country.
Spend entirely too much money on tickets, VIP, merch and Vegas hotel rooms.
Lose your mind when the lights go down and those five guys appear.
I will probably be right there doing it with you.
That's part of what makes being a fangirl fun.
But the woman standing in front of you isn't your competition.
She's another fan who is just as excited as you are.
She may have saved for months to be there. She may have traveled across the country. She may be seeing the Backstreet Boys for the first time. She may have waited 27 years for this night.
Her experience matters, too.
So when December comes around, maybe we can all remember the rules we learned before Millennium was even released. You know, in kindergarten.
Wait your turn.
Keep your hands to yourself.
Don't cut in line.
Try not to run anyone over.
And maybe help the person next to you instead of treating her like she's standing between you and Nick Carter.
We can still be completely unhinged over the Backstreet Boys.
We can just be nice to each other while we're doing it.
Because we're adults now.
Or at least we're supposed to be.