Thoughts: Being a fangirl isn’t a bad thing and men should realize that

by | May 17, 2020 | Backstreet Boys, Boy Bands, Music, Opinion, Thoughts | 1 comment

It’s no secret that I’m a fangirl and I wear that badge proudly, even renaming my site to match the social media names and inviting my fellow Backstreet Boys friends to post here, showcasing their fangirling ways. 

Last week on social media, a white male said that our site was sexists because it was called “” and he felt like he couldn’t be a part of it. 

I’ll let you sit there and ponder on that for a minute. 

The term “Fangirl” has a long history with negative meanings and a bad reputation for years. For instance, according to, fangirling means:

The art of obsessing over fandoms, the characters in the fandoms, the actors who play the character ( if the fandom is a film/show ), etc……. Just saying something to do with a fangirls fandom will usually lead to them frantically crashing into the room youre in making high pitched sounds that to you might sound meaningless, but to other fangirls will make total sense.

“Honestly, I feel like the term “fangirl” has (historically) been used as a condescending way to describe women who fervently loved a boy band,” our writer Brittany said. “When I was younger, I would’ve been aggravated to be called a fangirl because I would’ve taken it as an insult (because, let’s be real: being a Backstreet Boys fan was somehow never cool despite worldwide domination). Now, I absolutely embrace being a fangirl. We (adult fangirls) have redefined the term and OWN that shit. For me, being a fangirl is about passion. Dedication. Loyalty. Respect. In fact, I’m not sure why being a fangirl was ever considered an insult!”

However, the definition of fangirl has changed over the years, or at least broken off into segments. Yes, you still have the teenage fangirls who cry over BTS or Why Don’t We, but former teenagers and young adults have aged, turning into adult fangirls who are mature enough not to cry in front of Nick Carter, but also still fangirl like the best of them when the time is right. 

And honestly, as fangirls, we’re tired of people trying to “dumb us down.” 

Look what Harry Styles said not too long ago in Rolling Stone about fangirls.

“We’re so past that dumb outdated narrative of ‘Oh, these people are girls, so they don’t know what they’re talking about’. They’re the ones who know what they’re talking about. They’re the people who listen obsessively. They fucking own this shit. They’re running it.” 

Harry knows. 

For an adult fangirl, we don’t have to ask our parents for money. We do not have to worry about saving our allowance to buy an album. We are fully grown, capable adults, who work for a living, take care of our families if we have any, and still love a band or musician like we did when we were 15 or 18. 

Journalist Selina Juengling wrote an article called “Why Sexism Drives The Shaming of Fangirls,” and talked about how it’s okay for men to become obsessed with sports team and cry when their team loses a game or championship, but it’s bad when a female does that for a band? Or if a girl likes that sports team, it’s only because she has the hots for one of the players. 


So how is having a website called sexist?

To me, being a fangirl is an experience that has nothing to do with the fact that I’m female. It’s about feeling so strongly for something; admiring something (or someone) so much that it becomes a significant part of your life,” our writer Kelsey said. “I understand that the term originated from literally meaning a female who is a fan of something to the point of obsession, but I think over time the term has shifted and become more universal. “Fangirling” became a verb that is widely used across genders—it’s more of a feeling than anything else. When I say I’m a fangirl, it means that when I become a fan of something, I go all in. And I think that’s something that anyone can relate to/identify with—no matter who they are.”

The group of fangirls on this website are so far from being a typical fangirl who cries to Kevin Richardson, telling him she wants to marry him. We are career women, some married, some with kids, who love a band. If we were sexists, why would we, a bunch of females, be fangirling over MEN. That alone proves to the point. If the site was sexist, we would say that only women are allowed to be guest writers or members of this site, which we do not. 

Being a fangirl isn’t a bad thing. In fact, I’m 99.9% sure Nick Carter has said he fangirls about the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. 

So if the Backstreet Boys don’t have a problem with it, that’s all we care about. 

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We are a group of women who love and support the Backstreet Boys. We are professionals in various aspects of business with backgrounds in marketing, journalism, writing, and psychology. 


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