Kevin Richardson dances with “Missy Elliott” on ABC Night during the 2014 Backstreet Boys cruise. Credit: Karah-Leigh (@Princess_Karah)
Let’s admit it. Every two years, the Backstreet Boys seem to take a year off from having a cruise. First it was 2012 and now it’s 2015.
And with no tour, many of us are getting a little antsy for something to look forward to. Some are heading down south of the border for a few shows, while many of us are adding $5 to our savings account every chance we get for that cruise down payment.
Thus, Karah (@Princess_Karah) and Chrissy (@WriteOnMySoul) have gotten together to come up with 10 reasons why the Backstreet Boys need to make a new cruise announcement as soon as humanly possible.
Reason 1:
At least 70% of Backstreet Boys fans have been stuck in the snow for far too long this winter and need something nice and warm to look forward to. And watching the original “I’ll Never Break Your Heart” video doesn’t make things any better.
Reason 2:
We definitely need more cruise concerts like the last one including songs we haven’t heard in forever! And Kevin crawling up the stairs all seductively to Howie.
Reason 3:
We need Nick in a dress, Brian as a UPS package, AJ stripping again, meeting Kevin in a bathrobe and Howie throwing Hershey kisses to us – we have withdrawals. We need those 100 kisses and the dirty crotch popcorn.
Reason 4:
We need the Bahamas, or any tropical beach, and the warm sun and Nick taking off his shirt and running into the water. Or AJ busting his balls on a slip ‘n slide.
Reason 5:
We’ve slept enough now, actually all winter. We’re ready and prepared for a no sleep cruise!
Reason 6:
Bachelorette Night = enough said.
Reason 7:
Random interactions. We need running into Nick in the hallway while holding a big fluffy pettycoat and him stopping and looking before saying “That’s fluffy” and leaving. We need to see Kevin in his bathrobe. We need to see drunk Howie forgetting where his room was.
Reason 8:
ALL the boys show their dirty sides and we want more of that! We want Kevin giving us the stare down as he dances in front of us in nothing but a luggage bag. We want Nick to shove a shot down our throat asking, “Do you like this baby?” or yelling “We want to spread it wider!”
Reason 9:
Because we had to sit by and watch NKOTB’s “Rock This Boat” while going through Backstreet Boys withdrawals and that ain’t right.
Reason 10:
Just take our damn money already. Most of us are already trying to save and if you go ahead and announce in the next few months and give us at least a month’s notice like last time, we could go ahead and sell those kidneys and other body organs, stand on the street corner or commit a felony to get that down payment. Your faces are already on our credit cards. You might as well have the pin number, too.
