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8 reasons the Backstreet Boys are a better boy band than One Direction

by | Nov 20, 2014 | Opinion, Thoughts, Top Lists | 1 comment

The title of this post says it all.

In response to THIS post on teen.com (yes, I know, the travesty), I give you eight reasons why the Backstreet Boys are, and will always, be a better boy band than one direction.

1. ALBUM SALES

The Backstreet Boys have sold more than 130 million records worldwide, And let’s face it Backstreet fans, 90% of those sales came within the first 10 years of the groups life. What have One Direction done? According to some reports, they’ve sold close to 30, which is decent in this day and age when no one really buys CDs anymore. But will they sell more than 130 million? If they stay together for as long as the Backstreet Boys and continue to spit out albums as fast as a crack addict gives birth to a baby for a welfare check, then it’s possible, but still unlikely.

The Backstreet Boys were the first boy band to sell more than a million copies of an album in the first week, breaking Garth Brooks’ previous record, when they released “Millennium” in May 1999. ‘N Sync rode their coat tails afterwards and each group did the same with their next albums.

 

2. CONTRACTS

One Direction may beat Backstreet Boys by having an actual record executive in Simon Cowell having their back, where as Backstreet Boys had Lou Pearlman who only knew about blimps (mostly because he was one). If it weren’t for the struggles that the Backstreet Boys went through with Pearlman and made it known how they had money stolen from them because of their crappy contracts, bands today would be in the same position. One Direction would probably be in that same position.

Backstreet Boys dealt with the struggle, while One Direction coasts their way to Swiss bank accounts full of money. You’re welcome, 1D.

3. FORMATION

One Direction were formed from guys who didn’t make the final cut as solo artists on the British “X-Factor.” The Backstreet Boys were formed from an advertisement that was taken out in the Orlando newspaper. Is that any different? Not really, except that Backstreet Boys never failed to make it to a final round because they couldn’t make it as solo artist. Plus, they weren’t complete strangers.

Howie, Nick and AJ knew each other from the audition circuit in Orlando. Kevin was a stranger, but unless you live under a rock, you know that Brian is his cousin (and he’s known him all his life).

Checkmate.

 

4. STYLE

Style is like music, it goes in waves. For a while boy bands weren’t popular (unless you count the Jonas Brothers, but really, do you count the JoBros?). Style changes and let’s face it, the Backstreet Boys have had some interesting styles from ski goggles to dreads to snow uniforms. But One Direction fans, do not think that your boy band is better.

Besides, what the hell is this?

1412579942480_wps_1_Harry_Styles_One_Directio

In 10 years, Mr. Styles will be wondering what the hell he was thinking with that. At least Nick Carter’s part hair style is making a comeback thanks to Chris Hemsworth on the cover of People Magazine’s “Sexiest Man Alive” issue.

one-direction-450x352

Your red pants and suspenders may have seemed cool at the time, Louis, but just remember, Steve Urkel wore them, too.

urkel

 

 

5. BAD BOYS

The Backstreet Boys have the original bad boys. In fact, they are all pretty bad ass, especially AJ McLean and Nick Carter. While we’re not one to flaunt their mistakes and bad moments, you are not a REAL bad boy unless you’ve had some type of addiction, gone to rehab, resisted police or have at least one mug shot under your belt. Smoking weed in a bus in South America does not count. Nor does that smoldering “I like you, but I’m like 20 and engaged to a girl in a girl group” look that Zayn does. Come back to us when Matt Lauer’s “rehab question” is relevant.

 

6. KFC

While One Direction may have these hot British accents, the Backstreet Boys have the KFC – no it’s not the Colonel’s recipe. It’s KFC – Kentucky’s Finest Cousins – Mr. Brian Littrell and Mr. Kevin Scott Richardson. While the other three boys may be Florida boys, Brian and Kevin bring the country to the Backstreet Boys and gives everybody a little taste of that amazing Southern hospitality. While there are rumors of some One Direction boys not being so fan friendly, the Kentucky cousins always take the time to show fans what they are made of.

Pure, unfiltered southern hotness.

7. SONGS

In 20 years, will people still be singing “That’s What Makes You Beautiful”? What about that new “Steal My Girl” song that sounds like everything else that’s on the radio. Let’s be honest, probably not. But 15 years later, people who aren’t even Backstreet Boys fans can recite every word to “I Want It That Way” or  “Everybody.” Even Seth Rogen put “Everybody” in one of his movies and asked the guys to be there to perform it… in heaven. Because, you know, the Backstreet Boys are so great, they are going to heaven. Well, maybe not Nick or AJ, but they might get a pass. They are the bad boys after all.

Sure, One Direction may have a slight advantage over Backstreet Boys by having songs that they wrote on their very first album, but times have changed since the Backstreet Boys recorded their first album. And while One Direction may have those song writing credits on that album, really, were the songs any good? I don’t see “Everything About You” being released as a single. To get a songwriting credit, a person simply has to put in like two or three words and they get a name credit.


8. FAN FICTION

One Direction fan fiction may be in the news more, but don’t get your panties all in a bunch. Backstreet Boys fan fiction has been around since before Nick hit puberty. Most One Direction fan fiction is about the guys falling in love with one another. Why teenage girls are all into that, we don’t know. But… if fictional Harry and fictional Liam want to get together, more power to them.

Backstreet Boys fan fiction is better. Many of the writers have professional experience and have even had books released. The topics range from serious stories about a loved one dying, to one of the boys dying, to one of the boys being eaten by a zombie. They range from the classic Mary Sue’s with a twist, Nick falling in love with a country singer, and Kevin and Brian fighting over a girl from back home in Kentucky. Even Howie has fan fiction written about him.

Plus, and here’s the real kicker, the majority of Backstreet Boys fan fiction writers who write the naughty scenes, actually know what they are talking about.

 

So thank you One Direction fans for the funny read. Your band is good, but they will never, ever be the Backstreet Boys. Come back to us in 21 years and let us know where things stand.