Guilty. As. Charged.
We think it’s safe to say that most of us here fangirl over the Backstreet Boys. Um, c’mon, you’re literally reading this on a Backstreet Boys fansite right now… 😉
But, as we talked about on our first episode of Fangirls’ Night Out, there are different types of fangirls. From the gossip queen (Britt!) to the diehard crier (Kelsey!) and a few dozen or so more that we identified, no matter where you fall in your fangirl identity, it’s easy to get sucked into the fandom in a way that just isn’t healthy.
The world we’re living in today is LOUD. It’s loud, it’s scary and it’s really, really hard to shut off — more so than usual. From social injustices, to an election year, and a worldwide pandemic that just doesn’t seem to have a light at the end of it yet, and we’re all climbing the walls (pun fully intended) to find our escape. But, where is it…?
Normally, our escape is this fandom. But, now? Everyone has an opinion. Everyone is “right”. Everyone is tired. Everyone is stressed.
And you’re fucking exhausted.
So, what happens if you’re feeling all the feels we’re talking about here?
Before you completely leave the fandom (which we’ve seen several tweets about this week that just makes our hearts so sad!), figure out where the BIG stressor is coming from. What has your anxiety through the roof specifically within the fandom?
Remind yourself that you have control over how you react, but unfortunately, you don’t have control over how others act or what they say. When you see behavior that is inexcusable (or downright fucking WEIRD), when you comment on it, that person will likely comment back. Will what you comment change their behavior? Maybe?! But, if you know that particular fan (or wife lol) will never, ever change their behavior, opinion, or level of ignorance, it might be best to just not continuously engage, in an effort to protect your own mental health.
That being said, for us, we will never, ever tolerate racist, homophobic or hateful speech or behavior. We’ll always comment when we see it. We’ll always say something, no matter the response from that person. It’s never, ever okay.
We also know that this has been a particular stressor for so many fans lately. We’ve seen many ignorant, unkind posts that can easily make being a fangirl not so fun, to say the least.
No matter what works for you, just know that this weird world (again, pun fully intended) is far from normal. It’s bringing out the beautiful in some, and the really, really ugly in others. Mental health is something that is often ignored, so if you find yourself struggling, make sure to tap into some resources that will work for you.
Being a fangirl is serious business — but don’t let it get so serious that it takes away all the fun. We love you and we’d love for you to fangirl over with us at Fangirls’ Night Out! We may spill some tea every so often, but we promise, it’s a safe place to fangirl.
We’ll leave it to the croc for the ‘toxic’ performances…. deal? 😉